Having been a part of the early planning stages of this retreat has made it somewhat difficult for me to step back and really reflect on the retreat and its effects on me.  My hopes and expectations are so intricately wound with the actual experience…it’s hard to separate the two.  My most profound blessing actually came before the retreat even began.  It happened in my living room.
I purchased the water bottles that we gave as hospitality gifts more than two months ago.  Stepping out in faith that anyone besides Natalie, Jessica and myself would even attend, I bought 60 bottles.  The amount seemed huge.  I figured we could just return the ones we didn’t use.  We opened registration and women began signing up.  We quickly began nearing 60 registrations and I went out and purchased more bottles.  I figured that we couldn’t possibly hit 100, so I bought 99.  (It seems that motherhood has muddled my ability to do basic arithmetic and I actually only bought 93. Sigh.)

A few days before the retreat I set to unpacking all of those bottles. They had been neatly stored, in their boxes, in my garage.  Once unpacked, sitting on my coffee table, I was completely overwhelmed.  I burst into tears.  I took a picture and sent in to Natalie and Jessica with the hope that they would understand the complexity of feelings I was having.  Here, on my coffee table, was a tangible picture of each women coming to the retreat.  I, in my little faith, hoped that God would bring us at least 50 women.  He, in His infinite grace and goodness, brought us almost double that number.  Each bottle represented an actual living, breathing person who, stepping out in faith herself, was committing a weekend to seeking out God and a better understanding of Him.

Some people may not have seen those water bottles the same way I did.  People kept thanking me for writing their name on the bottle, for the time spent in baking and preparing.  The truth is, writing those names, preparing those bottles was a gift to me.  As I checked the spelling, chose the color, bagged the cookies, wrote the name,  I said a prayer for each woman.  In that time I was able to express my thanks to God for each life and each sister in faith.  I was overwhelmed with God’s love for me…that He would give ”the least of these”– me, such a rich and diverse sisterhood–women who were willing to set aside their lives and make time to come together, united in Him, to worship.

I know how hard it is for women to get away.  I know that sacrifices were made, loose ends tied up, and many details were thought through before so many ladies could leave their normal lives and head up the mountain to meet God.  It was hard for me, too. However the benefits, by far, outweighed the hardships.   I saw His love poured out on the hurting, I heard His testimony on the lips of other women and I saw His sacrifice made evident in the hope of so many.So really, this letter is a very large thank you note to all of the women who came.  To all of you who stepped out of your comfort zone and braved the wilderness of unknown that a retreat can be, thank you.  My life is changed for the better because of you and the knowledge of what we share in Christ

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus..It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.  And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”  Philippians 1:3-11

As I sit down to reflect on the weekend, I hear the words, “Christ’s love compels me.” In the days following our time together, I feel as though His love is carrying me and is all around me, compelling me to do everything I do. His Word tells us, “Faith, hope and love abide, but the greatest of these is love.” I realize now that I have put much of my “efforts” into attaining, perfecting, or understanding faith and hope, and expected love to simply just ‘come’. I have learned that, as a human, to unreservedly surrender to my Father, I need to trust Him – and how do I trust Him if I do not first believe in His love for me? His TRUE love, the gracious and merciful love He tells us about, not the broken love I think I understand from a lifetime of receiving imperfect and broken human love. As a little girl who stands at the side of a pool and in complete trust, jumps into the open arms of her daddy, so I long to be, trusting my Father’s love to catch me into strong, loving arms. There still may be a little fear, but love overcomes fear, and I jump because it isn’t about ME, it is about HIM and His extravagant, all-embracing love. His love that always brings good even out of the worst we experience.

So what was my “take home”? A few things:
Linda’s 4 points resonated with the stirrings in my own heart – I changed them a little to remember them by the LONGing I have to love as Christ loves.
-LISTEN attentively to the Holy Spirit
-OBEY His commands – as He gives them
-NOTICE the “one” (the lonely, afraid, hurt, confused)
-GIVE just a little bit (a smile, a note, a helping hand)

The opportunities to love can be overwhelming and daunting – but when I wait for and listen to HIS promptings to love, I am only where HE wants me to be, and there is joy in the loving.

Also, the challenge to “stoop down to make others great” is a good one, and one that I am taking to heart. I struggle with selfishness – as an introvert, I like my own time and space,and somehow think I deserve it. Wrong. I love because Christ loved me first and loves me extravagantly (even unto death), and I must remember how Christ was a servant to all, lovingly and willingly giving of Himself in obedience to His Father. I doubt He even had His own agenda! In my heart, I love people, but what does that love in action look like? Is it extravagant? Is it a love that transforms? Is it a love that gives them a glimpse of Abba Father that makes them want to know Him? I especially desire to bring my own children into that extravagant love for others – is someone we know sick? Together as a family let’s make a meal for them. Is someone mourning? Let me teach my kids how to pray for the hurting and send them a card. I want to teach my kids, as God has taught me, to love actively, and to be compassionate, loving people, just like Christ. If I am to teach them, I must first be the example.

To know Christ and His love is to obey Him. To get to know Him – and myself as truly Beloved -  is to make daily time for Him in my life. May it be so for all of us. Christ love heals us as much as it simultaneously compels us.

If you have a story – something you learned, something you will take home, something you enjoyed, any story – please consider writing it into an email and sending it to me at: jessica.mccoy at gmail.com

I would like to post it up on our blog for everyone to read. I can post it anon or put your name on it. Let me know either way.

Jessica

You work, build, create, and then the set day and time come and things start to roll and you just wait in faith to see if everything holds

Please pray that everything holds.

Then the Spirit does the work.

Please pray that the Spirit would be at work.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph. 2:10

See you next week!

2010 Women’s Retreat Registration Letter

By God, for his appare’l, rag’d, and torne?
If on these things I durst not looke, durst I
Upon his miserable mother cast mine eye,
Who was Gods partner here, and furnish’d thus
Halfe of that Sacrifice, which ransom’d us?
Though these things, as I ride, be from mine eye,
They’are present yet unto my memory,
For that looks towards them; and thou look’st towards mee
O Saviour, as thou hang’st upon the tree;
I turne my backe to thee, but to receive
Corrections, till thy mercies bid thee leave.
O thinke mee worth thine anger, punish mee,
Burne off my rusts, and my deformity,
Restore thine Image, so much, by thy grace,
That thou may’st know mee, and I’ll turne my face.

It was a difficult and emotional Christmas season for me. Besides the pregnancy loss, I was facing leaving my tightly knit circle of family and friends for good. We had one Sunday to visit a church and that December 29, 2002 we found ourselves sitting in the CPC sanctuary. A blond, young, surfer/skateboarder, stereotypical “California” kid was leading worship that Sunday. It only took a minute for my husband and I to know we were witnessing a special gift for music and leading worship.

Eight months later that kid, Jordan Frye, ended up in my husband’s core group and in our living room every week. In that year it became clear to both of us that our first impression of Jordan was truly a reflection of a deeper character – a man with an authentic love of Jesus Christ and an incredible gift for making music and leading people in worship using it.

In the nearly seven years that have passed, we have been privileged to watch Jordan use this gift to touch thousands of people, bringing them before the glory and majesty of Jesus Christ. We have also been privileged to know him and hear him make beautiful music. He has a spirit of gentleness and kindness that touches everyone he meets.

He is reading this now, and would want me to tell you that he is not something special. He would say that I make too much of it. I would say that this is what makes him good. He (in his own words) leads out of his brokenness – and God has used him, uses him, to bless others.

To bless us.
Jordan, with Urban Rescue:

Jordan, alone:

1. There are many women, both ones we know and not, coming on the retreat. This got us very excited.

2. There are many women who we know and love that have not yet registered. This got us less excited, but motivated to pursue these ladies. I will stop short of publishing any names; but if you know I mean you – register.

3. We have pretty much filled our reserved spots. This is wonderful news and cause for more excitement.

4. There are a few more rooms we are able to procure for any women making a last minute decision to join us. In order to reserve them, however, we need to know whether or not they will, in fact, be used.

5. We have managed to raise money through bake sales and contributions to cover requested scholarships only partially. We will continue with our sales on Sunday mornings. (If anyone has a baked good they would like to donate to the cause, chocolate is a bestselling item.)

6. There is a nearly unlimited amount of space for women to come for the day on Saturday – and it will be a worthwhile day trip.

7. There are 30 days until the retreat.

Coming Soon: Official Worship Leader Announcement.

The next good news? There are still some lodge rooms available.

Want a spot? Be sure to register by Sunday. It is first come, first served. (But we will be doing everything we can to fit everyone. I am already airing out my tent…)

I met with our speakers yesterday – and got very excited for what they’ll be sharing with us.

If you are not able to join us for the entire weekend – you should still seriously consider joining us for the day Saturday. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2 meetings, both speakers, a free afternoon, 2 worship sessions, the Saturday evening festivities. It will be well worth your while. Please submit a form if you are even thinking about coming for part of the weekend.

That’s it for today.

(Tim Lane also happens to be someone I know and respect.)